Tell Me What's On Your Mind...

Days of the past are filled with words of the future and happiness.

We promised to be kind.

There was worry that things would change, and everyone would feel pain.

We said that wouldn't happen, that we would fight for truth and happiness and each other.

Today, we realize that we were foolish.

I understand the fantasy of our wishes and plans.

The future looks lonely and foreign.

Tomorrow, I want to hear you say things won't be the same, that things are getting better.

.....

Simple

Life seemed so much easier as a child.

You dream big and live simple.

Then you grow up.

no one knows

people make plans.

we think about the future.

nothing ever goes according to the plans.

things happen.

people change.

you never know where life takes you.

no matter how hard you try to control things, some things just can't be controlled.

you search for things with all your might, and can't find.

yet you find things in the strangest places.

no one knows what the future holds.

no one knows where their life goes.

Words of yesterday and faint whispers.

One moment everything seems so optimistic and perfect.

Then a day later it all seems to be dreams or distant moments of the past.

I can't read your mind. You can't read mine either.

Don't tell me we'll figure things out later.

Why do all aspects of my life seem to run in circles?

Can't I just travel a straighter path? I am not asking for an easier life; I just don't want to relive, rehash, and repeat.

It's all downhill from here...until the next hill.

Life is just like a mountain bike race.

In the beginning it all seems to be fun and easy.

Then the drama begins.

You hit a few rough spots.

After awhile, things seem to be okay.

You settle into a groove and it feels liberating and fun.

Them come the hills. 

You throw yourself into gear and push yourself to continue, convincing yourself there will be a relaxing downhill ride.

Sometimes it just gets too tough, but you don't give up. 

You step back and deal with the situation in the next best way. 

Pushing your bike up the hill, gritting your teeth, taking in the pain, you push on.

You reach the top, and sometimes it leads you to another difficult climb, sometimes it just plateaus there, and sometimes you get the downhill coast where it seems easy and simple.

You go through parts that just seem like a blur and other parts that seem to freeze time. 

There are the technically challenging sections. 

You approach this cautiously, but sometimes no matter what you do something unfortunate happens, your chain falls off, your tire goes flat, or that rock you didn't see puts you over the handle bars and on your back.

You continue on, you can't quit now.

You bite down and continue on.

There are more rough patches, but then there are times of easy pedaling and downhill coasts.

There are times where nothing seems to be right and everything is stacked against you. 

There are also times of fun and everything seems to be going perfectly.

You finish.

There is a moment to look back. 

You smile at the good times, feel accomplished for making it through the tough times, and feel saddened that it is all over.

.......

I must be in the moguls. There are a lot of ups and downs. It sure is bumpy, and there is a big climb ahead.

Ponder. Question. Second Guess.

Am I the only one?

I'm not alone.

It's only human to question decisions that have been made.

I find myself second guessing myself.

There are moments where I ponder whether I've said, or not said, the right thing, or done the right thing.

Life changing decisions seem to occur more often than one realizes.

Did I make the right choice? Will the decisions that I've made make me a better happier person?

I seem to question myself more and more these days.

The only answer that I get is that I'm not currently happy with myself.

Promises

I live in a time where promises aren't kept. 

People throw promises around and forget how their importance.

There are times where promises can't be kept. I understand.

I just don't hold onto promises. They are just empty words that keep piling up in my mind and heart.

I don't have time to wait for something that seems to be not there.

I've been told that I'm special, and that I'm unique.

I've been told that I deserve greatness and smiles that last.

I've been told that I will have a better future and it won't be as dark as my past.

I've been told that you cared about me, but lately you don't speak.

Please don't let this be another moment where I trusted in words that were empty and cold.