Promises

I live in a time where promises aren't kept. 

People throw promises around and forget how their importance.

There are times where promises can't be kept. I understand.

I just don't hold onto promises. They are just empty words that keep piling up in my mind and heart.

I don't have time to wait for something that seems to be not there.

I've been told that I'm special, and that I'm unique.

I've been told that I deserve greatness and smiles that last.

I've been told that I will have a better future and it won't be as dark as my past.

I've been told that you cared about me, but lately you don't speak.

Please don't let this be another moment where I trusted in words that were empty and cold.

No need for one day of love.

I can only hope that everyday I tell the people that I love how much they mean to me.

I don't know when I won't be able to say that to them again, whether these happy relationships last a month or a lifetime. I am living in the moment. I can only hope to say how I feel more often. I don't want to hold back and regret anymore. 

I've realized this lately, and I don't want to go back.

The days of hiding my thoughts, desires, and hopes ended last July. The days of someone telling me I'm not good enough, I'm not true, and I'm not important are over.

I don't want anyone to ever feel so insecure. So to all of my loves, you matter.

I love you.

Not just today, but I love you everyday.

Textbooks.

Every night, the thought of curling up with a great book that explores the world, takes me to a brighter time, or shows me dark images that I can learn from, makes me smile. 

Then I see the stack of textbooks that need to be read, and the hundreds of chapters to be studied. 

Sometimes I feel like I learn more from real life texts, than the formal words printed in a massive book that is best used as a place to put my snack fruits or tea.

Alas, I read textbooks and only dream of one day finishing my long list of books to read...

Unfinished Business

the need to be healthy.

I haven't been healthy in such a long time, and I am finally realizing it.

I am starting to take into consideration what I eat effects my body. I need to make sure that I am getting enough of the right nutrients and I am using my daily calories wisely.

I am working out, and training for my marathon in the fall, and can't wait to accomplish my running and biking goals.

I have been sick lately, and I think it has a lot to do with my lack of attention towards my health. I am going to research what vitamins to take and start to regularly take supplements.

I want to be healthy so that I may participate in the aspects of life that intrigue me the most. I don't want to watch my life pass me by, I want to pass my life by... preferably in cute shoes, running shoes, or on my bike.

Clear conscious

Built up anger doesn't do anything positive for the mind or the body.

Confronting the dark part of my heart was freeing. 

Approaching someone I grew to hate because of immature acts and a childish relationship was needed.

Discussing why a relationship didn't work with the person that was involved opened my heart, and I no longer have a deep hatred towards that person.

My conscious is clear. 

I have nothing to loathe or fear.

My conscious is clear.

Change

People are always looking for change.

The world isn't good enough for itself.

People strive to be better.

What's the point?

In the end, is there really happiness and self-fulfilling satisfaction?

Or after everything is done are people just glad it's over?

Change is a part of everyday life.

We can fight it, just go with it, or stand at the forefront.

Each person chooses a different stance;

where will you stand?