Monday, May 25, 2009

Is it real? Does it matter?

Sometimes I feel like I am standing still, 
and everything is spinning out of control around me.
I feel like a walking conundrum;
I am learning to appreciate the small things in life,
but sometimes I want to scream out 
and question the world about what is the big picture
I don't know whether to open myself entirely
and take the risk of shattering to pieces,
or protect myself and then later regret not living in the moment.
I don't know if these are just negative thoughts
that I ponder on a dreary day,
or if these thoughts are always there,
just masked behind sunshine, smiles, and giggles.
I accuse the unknown, but then ponder if that is the point
... not knowing.
The life of the care-free and the ones who can let go of the past, 
is something I long for;
but, as soon as I feel like I am being care-free and living in the present,
the hem of my dress gets snagged
and I fall into the life of the 
worried, hesitant, and closed-off.

No comments: